Is jealousy a spice or a buzzkill?

Jealousy is a complex and unsettling emotional response that arises when we feel we might lose something we consider our own and essential…

It’s not just directed at one’s partner…it’s enough to feel that you no longer have the exclusivity you deserve…or simply to be afraid of losing your status as the sole focus of attention and compliments…but what is feared even more is losing sexual exclusivity.

For many people, when they are in love, it is inevitable to feel these emotions, since the anxiety they cause is just another way of fueling desire.

The problem arises when these feelings are repeated and tormenting, because what was once a spice of the relationship inevitably turns into anxiety in the heat of passion—since everything is constantly being called into question—and thus all the magic of desire comes to an end. Jealousy is a mix of feelings—anger, sadness, and anxiety—that we’ve all experienced at one time or another. Jealousy in a relationship can become a serious problem that causes suffering for both the person experiencing it and the person they believe is causing it.

Sometimes this can develop into a mental disorder when verbal or physical aggression becomes a recurring pattern.

The Disguise of Jealousy

Jealousy is a clear sign of insecurity and low self-esteem.

The more insecure you feel, the more fears arise. The best way to avoid this is undoubtedly to start trusting yourself. In practice, a jealous person fears that their partner will meet other people because they feel that most of them are better than they are, and they’re terrified that someone else will find out. This fear is based on the idea that they don’t deserve the person by their side and the suspicion that, sooner or later, their partner will leave them because they’ll get tired of them.

Another common behavior of a jealous person is to seek out someone who will tell them they are right, disparaging their partner to pressure them into telling the truth about what is happening, thereby starting a vicious cycle of punishment and self-punishment.

When jealousy is a pathological disorder…jealousy…

So-called pathological jealousy, or “jealousy disorder,” is a serious disorder rooted in compulsive jealousy that can lead to psychotic symptoms, such as delusions (an idea without logical basis that the individual believes to be true) or hallucinations (perceptions that are experienced as real but do not correspond to any actual event).

The life of a jealous person revolves around jealousy; not only do they think about it constantly, but they also base their behavior on it. Typically, a person with this condition is constantly looking for evidence that their partner is cheating on them, dwelling on what they interpret as clear-cut evidence of such behavior, and speculating about the various ways their partner might be unfaithful.

They have intense delusions that their partners are being unfaithful, but they can’t prove it.

The treatment of “jealousy” is very complex.

The vast majority refuse to accept that they have a problem. It’s hard to convince someone that what they’ve experienced as something real has only happened in their mind.

Although they do not manifest with intensity at first, they are progressive.

What is striking about this situation is that the jealous partner does not usually break up with their partner, even though they are convinced that their partner is being unfaithful or intends to be.

His obsession is to expose the deception and prevent it from happening, so he focuses his thoughts and actions on this.

In severe cases, this can lead to verbal and even physical abuse directed at the alleged lovers and even at the partner themselves.

Let’s not forget that jealousy is a trigger for many incidents of abuse.

The suffering they cause is immense.

The jealous partner, who is convinced that the person they love is cheating on them, and their partner, who lives under constant suspicion, is controlled and questioned, feels powerless in the face of the other person’s behavior, and, of course, is unhappy. Most couples end up breaking up, since these relationships become unbearable…

Is there a cure for jealousy?

In most cases, “jealousy” is considered a chronic disorder.

With the right treatment, symptoms improve, but we must continue to work on this and maintain lifelong follow-up if we want to prevent relapses.

In therapy, the patient cooperates and combines psychotherapy with medication—usually antipsychotics—to try to eliminate suspicion, delusions, and hallucinations.

“Jealousy” is not the same as ordinary jealousy or those occasional bouts of fear that your partner might cheat on you, since there is a sharp distinction between what is more or less normal and what is pathological; what they do always show, however, is that they are different ways of masking our insecurities.

In moderation… they’re not the end of the world; they can even help you remember how much the other person means to you. Although ideally, you should replace the selfish and anxious “I love you” with the genuine and peaceful “I love you”…