Attraction to cross-dressers and transgender people
June 30, 2026
Infidelity is something that men and women tend to perceive differently: for men, the most significant form of infidelity is sexual, while for women, it is emotional.
According to studies, 44% of unfaithful women do so because they are attracted to the other person, while 33% do so to feel desired. For men, it’s a matter of sex: 48% say they did it because they wanted “more sex,” and 47% because they wanted more variety. The difficulties couples face today in defining what is permissible when negotiating boundaries, include the proliferation of technology and the immediate gratification we get from interactions on social media—which can be seen as a kind of perpetual virtual flirting—and which can sometimes cross the line of what is advisable.
The standard is not universal:
For some people, a stolen kiss is nothing more than a casual, forgivable slip-up; for others, a message that ends with a winking emoji is an unmistakable sign that boundaries have been crossed. What does seem clear from the surveys, however, is that we’re much less forgiving of others’ behavior than we are of our own.
The discovery of infidelity triggers a range of reactions, such as denial, rejection, anger, or simple indifference.
We might think that this discovery would spell the end of a relationship, but in the end, when it happens, people often choose to give the other person a second chance.
Other people seem completely certain that anyone can slip up, and yet when it happens, it has such a profound impact that all preconceived notions go out the window.
In relationships where infidelity has led to a breakup—even if only temporarily—the idea that one’s partner has decided to act out their fantasies and desires with someone else becomes a constant threat. This anxiety about “betrayal” reflects a poor sense of self-worth and self-esteem, so low self-esteem and a loss of confidence and self-assurance can lead them to feel self-destructive.
Strict rules about what “is and isn’t allowed” are, paradoxically, what create situations that are more conducive to infidelity.
Modern couples constantly face conflicting situations, ranging from tolerating certain behaviors because they haven’t discussed boundaries, to, conversely, excessive control that can become a suffocating yoke.
Reactions that involve excessive jealousy or doubt say more about the insecurity of the person expressing them than about whether infidelity is actually occurring. That is why paranoia about the other person’s unfaithful behavior must be suppressed; otherwise, it will be disastrous.
If we don’t know what the other person might consider infidelity, it’s impossible to understand the nature of infidelity—not as a betrayal or a lack of love for one’s partner, which occurs in only a few cases—but as a longing for emotional fulfillment in the relationship that one tries to find again with other people. For this reason, the most common instances of infidelity do not occur with strangers, but with people close to the couple’s social circles: coworkers, friends, family…
Infidelity as an Escape
Falling in love is not the same as love:
When love begins to mature, there is a risk of finding a void—something that cannot be filled. The feelings that were initially sparked by the attraction and mystery between lovers have now become familiar to both of them, diminishing the intensity of their desire.
Fear of commitment:
The fear of commitment and the responsibility that comes with taking the relationship to the next level can, in some cases, lead to a sea of doubts. The person who is unfaithful often feels trapped and with no way out, so one way to break free from a partner who is demanding a commitment is to form a relationship with someone who does not involve a romantic bond.
Couples often enter a phase of monotony and routine, referring to this time as “love out of habit.” It is not only their daily life together that is affected, but also their sexual and erotic lives. The couple loses the spark in their relationship and seeks experiences that rekindle excitement and desire.
Soledad:
This is a feeling that not everyone is able to cope with. In a relationship, it manifests itself through disinterest, detachment, and a lack of attention toward one another; the person who feels abandoned looks outside the relationship for someone to satisfy their need for attention.
Narcissism:
There are people who base their relationships on power and control: power is characterized by the grandiosity and self-centeredness of the person who seeks to completely possess their partner as a being without a will or judgment of their own, going so far as to be unfaithful in order to receive praise for themselves, making their partner feel that they are capable of hurting and loving them at the same time like no one else can, thereby instilling in them an irreversible fear of losing everything.
In the future, infidelity will no longer exist, but relationships will be shorter:
Every day, the concept of a couple is becoming more of a complement to one’s romantic life rather than the foundation of one’s social future; whether or not there are children, society wants to give itself the opportunity to chart its own course, whether accompanied by a partner or not.
Given that we are all becoming more individualistic every day—including our families (parents, grandparents, etc.)— and that we place greater value on our feelings and needs than we did fifty years ago, it is difficult to maintain the same behavioral norms or customs of the past without causing conflict in our daily lives together.
Today, women want not only to be in charge of the kitchen at home or the social gatherings at the parish, but also to have a career where they can advance, and to express their opinions and tastes about everything around them without restraint. At the same time, they want a man who can provide them with the security of a comfortable and stable future for themselves and their children, without this requiring them to submit to their partner’s wishes.
On the other hand, men today want a sensitive, feminine, and well-educated woman who knows how to express herself in social settings, who can adapt to their tastes, and who shares their future aspirations. At the same time, she should be self-sufficient in her career and have a modern outlook on romantic relationships. This relates to the concept of sexual relations—not only as something necessary for procreation but also as a way to have fun and share new emotions that enrich the couple’s relationship.
If we compare the desires of men and women, we come to the conclusion that we all want to find paradise in a partner—if not a clone. A “made-to-order” partner hardly ever exists, and it is in this process of adjustment—necessary to reconcile both partners’ desires—that problems arise which love alone can smooth over but not resolve.
Depending on how abrupt the social changes are, a couple’s ability to adapt will involve more or less friction, but if there’s one vital lesson these new times teach us, it’s that being in a relationship is a matter of mutual effort and, above all, the absence of psychological or financial dependence. Faithful love exists as long as there is attraction, admiration, respect, and understanding.
