Attraction to cross-dressers and transgender people

We grew up with a stereotypical view of the family: father (man), mother (woman), and children. Forming a family based on natural factors and with two genders: male and female. However, there are no absolute truths regarding sex, just as there are none regarding the other peculiarities of human beings and nature—or at least science has not yet managed to fully decipher them. In the most outdated understanding of biology, the purpose of sex is the process of combining and mixing genetic traits, resulting in the differentiation of organisms into female and male varieties.

But new studies on the hormonal processes in women during pregnancy reveal a much wider range of sexual profiles than the traditional categories of man and woman, or the more modern ones of man, woman, homosexual, or bisexual. These new studies suggest that even though there are two physically distinct genders, the sense of one role or another is not determined solely by the sex organ with which one is born, but rather by the greater or lesser proportion of hormones the fetus receives during pregnancy, which opens up a very broad spectrum of profiles beyond sexual orientation, with very distinct extremes.

Woman – – – – – – – – – – man Man – – – – – – – – – woman

For example, in the classic heterosexual pairing—a very feminine woman and a very masculine man—there are women with very masculine traits who do not, however, identify as men, and men with very feminine traits who do not, however, identify as women. At the extremes are homosexuals: men with male biological sex and a female sexual orientation, and, conversely, women with female biological sex and a male sexual orientation. In addition to all this, there are bisexual people who feel sexual attraction to both the feminine and the masculine, regardless of the biological sex they were born with. The range of emotional, behavioral, and practical phenomena associated with the pursuit of sexual pleasure has a decisive impact on human beings at every stage of their lives.

So it seems quite logical that, in the pursuit of personal pleasure, each person chooses what they want and what they do—with their sexuality, or with whom they express it. The old concerns of religion and morality—which seek to categorize human feelings into “allowed” or “not allowed” as yet another means of controlling group behavior—seem increasingly ridiculous and transparent to us, condemning the vast majority of people to a failure to understand or accept their own nature as something natural. This lack of respect for those who are different from the majority causes suffering and, in many cases, condemns people’s feelings to marginalization. The reality that “there are genders and many sexualities” is becoming clearer every day through genetic studies, which show that we are all a complex amalgam of unknowns; and despite our plans to colonize Mars, human beings remain strangers to themselves and, for centuries, have been their own worst enemies.

Trans women and transvestites

Instincts remain the driving force behind human sexual behavior; although their form and expression depend on culture and personal choices, this gives rise to a wide variety of sexual behaviors. So, is a man who chooses a trans woman or a transvestite developing a new way of experiencing sexuality? Why can’t this be just another option? The dilemma for transvestites and transsexuals compared to homosexuals is that they do not see themselves as men who dress as women, but rather women who, in the case of transvestites, accept their genitalia and do not feel self-conscious about them, or, in the case of transsexuals, need surgery to realign their physical bodies with their subjective experience or their sense of being a woman.

Attraction to cross-dressers and transgender people

There are those who think that behind a man who has a relationship with a transvestite lies a repressed gay man, but this doesn’t have to be the case. These heterosexual men are attracted to the female body; they are fascinated by its curves, its sensuality, and even the freedom it offers for erotic play. Some reject any masculine traits that might slip through or a slightly deep tone of voice. It may seem like a paradox, but on the one hand they reject signs of masculinity in physique and behavior, yet the presence of male genitalia attracts them; in many of these relationships, the man takes on a passive role, or there is versatility, with the partners switching roles. Others prefer post-operative trans women; the attraction is primarily mental, as it stems from the intensity of their emotions and, by extension, their sexuality.

Issues

A heterosexual man who is attracted to a transgender woman finds himself trapped by social norms, facing an existential dilemma as he grapples with the immense challenge of making the relationship seem acceptable—a challenge that can lead to misunderstanding, ridicule, or rejection, and that limits his ability to authentically express his feelings. He has to comply with the rules imposed on a biological man, but even though he identifies as a man psychologically, he is just as attracted to—or even more attracted to—a transgender woman than to a woman who is both biologically and psychologically female.

On the other hand, a man who is attracted to a trans woman, and is in a relationship, finds himself in a distressing dilemma—much more so than if the other option were a biological woman—because he feels his attraction is shameful and prefers to hide it, even though sexual or romantic relationships between a heterosexual man and a trans woman are often viewed in a straightforward manner.

We consistently use masculine pronouns to clarify terms, but the same situation applies to trans women and cross-dressing women.