When the magic starts to fade

Seduction isn’t a spell; it’s a “charm”:

During the process of seduction, we are not our “normal selves.”

We project a stronger image, play multiple roles, and strategically hide our insecurities and fears.

Under that spell, the person being seduced may find themselves transported away from the world of work and responsibility; sustaining this excitement for as long as we can heightens the tension, fueling the thrill of sharing a beautiful story.

Over time, it will be almost inevitable that “disillusionment” will set in.

The release of tension is followed by a drop in arousal and energy that can be observed in ourselves or in the victim, even when what is happening is completely natural.

If this were to happen, we would have to deal with reality rather than fantasy, using tactics to avoid this side effect:

Combating inertia: To disillusion victims, all it takes is for them to feel that we are making less and less effort.

Let’s focus our attention on them by fighting the tendency to let things become routine and comfortable.

Only strategy and effort will overcome inertia.

Preserving the Mystery: Familiarity is the death of seduction.

Reality isn’t all that alluring, and without a hint of mystery, the erotic tension dissipates.

Let’s keep a dark corner somewhere; let’s use a few absences to chip away at our attachment…

Keeping it lighthearted: Seduction is a game, not a matter of life and death. We should avoid trying to control the other person with lectures and complaints, and instead maintain a cheerful attitude, using little tricks to please and delight them generously.

We should never try to change the person we care about, but rather encourage them to follow our lead.

When the end is inevitable:

Once we feel disillusioned and realize there’s nothing left, it’s best to bring things to a close—not by asking for an apology, but with affection and respect. A quick breakup is usually easier to get over than waiting for the relationship to fizzle out and become uncomfortable.

Let’s never carry on out of false pity. It’s more compassionate to end things in time.