Loneliness Doesn’t Bite

Loneliness has many meanings… for some people, it means depression or isolation… running away from something or someone… but one thing they all have in common is that it is one of the most common fears among human beings.

Loneliness is often associated with something negative or unpleasant experiences, when it actually reflects our own emptiness; but the reality can be very different. If you give yourself the chance to see loneliness through a different lens, you’ll recognize yourself in it without fear—accepting and getting to know yourself.

Solitude can become a private space where our inner voice helps us understand and accept who we are, what we desire, and what we can become, as well as understand the world around us.

Benefits of solitude:

Solitude can help you find your “inner self” because it gives you the opportunity not only to connect with yourself, but also to grow inwardly.

To begin seeing the positive side of solitude, we must view it as an opportunity to learn how to find inner balance—a state in which we can come to know ourselves much better. In fact, several studies have shown that the brain functions more effectively when we are alone, and our ability to concentrate increases significantly.

It helps us exercise our freedom of expression and decision-making. Often, living in a community leads us to make decisions that are influenced by the majority’s opinion.

Before making any decision, take five minutes to yourself and carefully analyze everything happening around you, putting it into perspective, so that your decision is made solely by you—not based on someone else’s opinion.

Putting our family, children, work, friends, and so on before our own “self” can lead us into a semi-automatic pattern of neglecting our own needs and, as a result, feeling uncomfortable with ourselves…

If you can find a moment to be alone with yourself, it can become a special moment. Don’t make excuses or use pretexts to put it off; seek out solitude… that space, and make it happen…You’ll see that certain things in your life begin to change when you give yourself a little space…

The Bitter Side of Loneliness:

What happens when loneliness comes along without you asking for it?

That kind of loneliness is a phase that every human being has experienced at some point in their life; it triggers feelings of rejection and fear due to the emotional stress caused by facing the reality of being alone.

The fear of loneliness is instilled in us from childhood, when the idea that “if you misbehave, you’ll end up alone” is subconsciously drummed into us.

As a result, when we find ourselves in that state, it is much harder to be prepared to face loneliness—with all its emotions and consequences.

If you look loneliness straight in the eye and tell it that you’re not afraid of it, because you are it and it is you. Your balance will be its stillness, and at the same time, its stillness will be your balance, no matter what your reality may be.

You may then be able to resolve your uncertainties, realizing that the feeling of loneliness—whether as abandonment or disappointment—is something you create yourself through your fears or disappointments; but loneliness can also be a friend with whom you get along perfectly, except that this kind of loneliness is fueled not by pessimism but by hope, strength, and knowledge.

Being alone is not the same as feeling lonely

Being alone—whether by choice or due to circumstances—can be a transition of varying length, during which we seek or come to understand what we want or need, turning into a pause or a new way of seeing ourselves.

Feeling loneliness—when we feel lonely—leads to a sense of hopelessness that takes root in our minds and causes us to perceive our surroundings as hostile. The solutions to this dreaded and unbearable feeling usually lie in our own perceptions, and it is difficult to overcome without questioning our core beliefs.

Knowing ourselves gives us self-reliance, because we learn from our own experiences and take responsibility for our own decisions.This translates into greater self-confidence, so other people’s opinions matter much less, freeing us from mental and emotional burdens and allowing us to make our own personal, well-considered judgments.Feeling lonely even when you’re with others is a state that the subconscious perceives—it happens when you don’t feel understood, accepted, or appreciated by your family, romantic partner, or coworkers.Fighting against this feeling or situation often leads to major changes that are more frightening than loneliness itself; so when the situation becomes suffocating, it will explode—the question is, who will be affected: oneself or others?

If a feeling of loneliness comes over you without you knowing why…

-Use your moments alone to reconnect with yourself… Practice meditation in short sessions of five to ten minutes. Close your eyes for a moment, take a deep breath, and connect with your inner self; focus on your dreams and goals, reflect on your life, and look on the bright side of things.

-If you’re going through a rough patch, you can make the most of your social life by visiting friends or family who offer positive perspectives and help you laugh and share good times doing activities that excite you and make you feel good. It’s not just about taking your mind off things, but about enjoying new opportunities that can open up new paths for you.

In love, choosing solitude doesn’t mean not having a partner or a social life:

In order to find a partner, you must first get to know yourself and truly understand what you’re looking for and why.

Being single gives you the opportunity to observe and get to know yourself, so that you can lead a fulfilling life in the future and decide whether you want a partner now, later, or perhaps never.

Not only does there have to be a special person in your life, but more importantly, you have to decide who is special and who isn’t. A special person could be a friend, a sibling, a family member, or a group of friends—not necessarily someone you’re romantically involved with.

-The cliché that single people spend their time bitterly lamenting their loneliness because they’ve lost the love of their life is completely wrong; the reality is that a single person can be truly happy and successful without any problems or shortcomings.

Nowadays, they are no longer called “solteros/as” but rather “singles”; they argue that it is a way of life in which solitude is not something negative but rather a need to have personal space, without giving up the chance to enjoy their social life or a relationship—whether temporary or long-term.