When Seduction Doesn’t Work

When seduction doesn’t work:

Seduction is an art, but as with everything, strategies aren’t always foolproof; winning someone over requires a great deal of courage, so it’s vital that you don’t let the possibility of rejection get to you too much.

No matter how you do it, act as if the outcome doesn’t matter to you.

To be the man or woman of someone’s dreams, you must first seduce yourself.

That is the foundation and the draw of any conquest, for only balanced self-esteem combined with a well-organized strategy will reflect the inner confidence that is so attractive.

Having clarified these points, we must also arrive at this maxim: “When a person does not want to be seduced, they do not want to seduce either.”

What should we do when we’ve exhausted all our seduction strategies and nothing has worked?

Let’s first look at the different situations in which seduction doesn’t work:

You’re not his type:

He just doesn’t like you, and that’s not your fault.

You can be rejected for hundreds of reasons that have nothing to do with your aesthetics, strategies, or offerings—just as you don’t buy into every offer you’re presented with, no matter how good the sales pitch may be.

Social differences:

In some social circles, there is still a great deal of secrecy and social division, as well as differences in customs, friendships, and spiritual interests.

Depending on one’s age, it is still difficult to cross moral and comfort boundaries, no matter how much liberals claim otherwise.

If you suspect this is why your attempts at seduction aren’t working, be careful with that eagerness to seduce, because adapting to a particular social circle where your family background, financial status, appearance, or way of thinking poses a challenge can depersonalize you and ultimately turn you into someone you’re not—or into such a chameleon that you don’t even recognize yourself.

Just… find someone else: there are millions of us in the world.

She has a boyfriend:

And what should you do when it seems like Cupid is about to shoot his arrow of love, only to be met with that annoying “I have a boyfriend/girlfriend…”? First, we need to consider several possibilities.

1. He doesn’t want to be unfaithful, and he’s making that clear to you so you understand the situation and don’t take steps in the wrong direction.

2. He might also say this to you in a way that almost sounds like he’s sympathizing with himself; that curt, matter-of-fact tone reflects the post-anger or weariness of a relationship that’s falling apart—and, on the other hand, it’s a great opportunity to offer him new emotions.

3. They might also tell you they have a boyfriend or girlfriend even though it’s not true—they want to keep you guessing by adding a little suspense, or it could simply be a test that’s part of the hiring process… This is very common and more often used by women than by men; their response will depend on how you react.

A foolproof response to the question, “Do I have a boyfriend/girlfriend…?”

If you run away, you’re implying that you were only interested in a one-time, no-strings-attached fling—a “here today, gone tomorrow” kind of thing—which might be perfect for men but disastrous for women.

However, if you don’t run away in a panic and don’t show any rejection, you’re showing that you’re confident, decisive, and a potential confidant—and these are essential signals in the game of seduction.

We know about today… but what about tomorrow?

Take it easy… we just met this person… you never know… let’s not rush things… let’s give them some space and treat them the way they want to be treated—as a friend, for now…

He or she is dedicated body and soul to his or her work:

That’s the person you always see online on WhatsApp but who never replies… Messenger is always active, but they never respond either; their email inbox must be about to burst, and when you meet up with him or her, it’s impossible to have a conversation lasting more than two minutes because they’re constantly bombarded with calls on their cell phone.

His life is filled with meetings, events, trips, and a schedule so packed with appointments that you don’t know where to squeeze in.

You feel like that insolent, unnecessary “comma” in a long paragraph of text… and on top of that, she’s told you, “I just don’t have time for myself,” so you figure she certainly doesn’t have time for you…

What should I do?

Make yourself indispensable to him or her; in this case, work is the center of their life, so find a way to become involved in it… offer to help, suggest spending more time with them—even if it’s just traveling with them as their part-time personal assistant……perhaps you’ll draw more of their attention to yourself by showing that you share or understand their passion or obsession.

One of the downsides of dealing with this type of person is that you may feel like you’re at the bottom of the list because of this near-demand to always be available, coupled with constant last-minute changes, given their countless or never-ending commitments.

Depending on your workload, it would be a good idea to consider whether it’s worth it for you to fit into the time slot he or she gives you in their schedule.

She’s just come out of a very unpleasant breakup and is still in shock:

He speaks ill of his ex, and it seems to be a recurring and obsessive theme at times…

At times, they seem down and have no desire to get into another relationship; at other times, they get a burst of energy and want to move on and feel the magic of attraction and excitement again, but they quickly revert to the first state.

It seems like no one can convince him—and, of course, neither can you.

In fact, she’s already let you know. There has to be some way to change her pessimistic outlook on life and gradually help her get over the bitter aftertaste left by her past relationship.

Invite him or her to the movies, suggest fun and unexpected weekend plans that break the monotony—like exploring rural areas or the beach… snowboarding or skiing in the winter… hiking… whatever you both enjoy most… treat him or her to a special dinner and don’t skimp on the heartfelt touches.

Remember that they’re going through a rough patch. Make them feel more and more connected to you and in tune with you in every aspect of their life, and in the future, they’ll thank you for it—whether as a friend or something more.

A great deal of tenderness and lots and lots of patience will be your greatest allies in these all-too-common and delicate situations.

Seduction is something more:

Seduction in and of itself is not merely a set of psychological guidelines for making someone fall in love or attracting them, but a way to recognize, express, and share the emotions of those around us.

One way to get to know ourselves is by getting to know others.

In a world full of haste, selfishness, anxiety, and loneliness, it’s not only vital to have a passionate lover, but also friends who try to connect on a positive level and share with you—and vice versa—how you think and what you like, with the sole aim of experiencing and helping others experience the attractive and interesting diversity of humanity.

“There’s a reason they say that man wasn’t made to be alone, but neither was he made to be in company yet feel sad.”