Partner Swapping or “Swinger”

In some parts of the Chuuk Islands in Micronesia, men—whether single or married—go out every night carrying a wooden spear, each decorated in different shapes and sizes, and leave it at the hut of the woman of their choice.
The women—whether single or married—wait impatiently. If they like the gift from the suitor, they open the door; if not, they return it, and the suitor runs off in search of another lady. In the Western world, this same form of courtship (without the spear) is practiced, but without the universality they exhibit, and I’m referring to the restrictive morality that, not so long ago (and which still persists in some people), organized and limited everything related to human emotions, using populist arguments such as sin and the temptation of the dark forces of hell.
If you’ve ever thought about going to a swingers’ club, there are a few things you should know. Swingers’ clubs offer a wide range of possibilities for open-minded and curious people who want to experience new sensations and act out sexual fantasies to spice up their sex lives and break out of the routine.
“It takes courage, a great deal of self-confidence, and a strong desire to experiment with pleasure to suggest a swap to your partner. But once the proposal is made, that temptation may mark the beginning of new emotions,” notes Lucas Matheu.

Before making a proposal that may raise many doubts and uncertainties, it is important to initiate an open and positive dialogue—first with yourself, and then with your partner—so that when the person receives the proposal, they can be on the same page regarding those same tastes and desires.
It may also be that the statement sounds something like, “I’m more interested in pleasure than in you as a person”—more typical of a pervert or a pleasure-seeker than of a partner who loves you.
In most cases, it’s the man who takes the initiative, but when it’s the woman who proposes these relationships, he usually responds with at least some curiosity. For women, however, this often leads to dilemmas fraught with doubts or fears of failure, which can end up paralyzing them. On the other hand, when faced with a less-than-positive reaction to this type of relationship, men become afraid to press the issue, since what is supposed to be a fun and exciting experience can turn into a tense situation, potentially causing a rift in their emotional connection with their partner.

Whether it’s virtual or real pleasure, trust and agreeing on boundaries are always necessary:
Sexual fantasies help spice up any sexual relationship; they don’t have to become physically real, but the imagination can turn them into virtual realities. You can talk about how exciting it would be to be in an orgy, and that doesn’t mean it has to become a reality the next day.
If a couple wants to take the step of trying out or bringing new sexual experiences to life, it’s essential to talk about it and agree on how far they want to go.
Can you imagine your partner kissing someone else? How do you think you’d react?
It’s important to know this before venturing into the world of open relationships. And to be clear about your own boundaries and those of others.
There are several options: perhaps one partner can have sex with other people while the other cannot, because that’s what they’ve agreed upon, or perhaps the arrangement is limited to people of the same sex… No one should do anything you don’t want them to, and it’s best to know in advance what each person is willing to try.

When it doesn’t work:
In partner swapping, there can be no lack of security or doubts; nor is it a solution for getting out of a rough patch in a relationship, because rather than being a solution, it can sometimes make the problem worse, clouding the situation with irrational thoughts and falling into the trap of bringing up feelings of guilt—whether one’s own or someone else’s.
The ability to enjoy oneself is personal, and each person must take control of their desires while sharing them with their partner, without forgetting that they are the owner of their own body and the protagonist of every moment of their pleasure.
To get off to a good start, it’s essential to manage your emotions well and avoid jealousy.
When it does work:
Since it’s an open approach, it can ease the anxiety caused by a lack of trust in your partner and, in the process, dispel the specter of infidelity, helping us stop idealizing distant pleasures and instead focus on the simple, everyday joy of the person right beside us.
It would be wonderful if we could set aside the ordinary and experience these new sensations as something truly exciting, without any subsequent remorse or resentment. We can use the pleasure we’ll feel during such an exchange as a learning experience to later achieve greater sexual passion and satisfaction with our partner.

What can we find at “swingers” clubs?
In almost all of these clubs, there’s a bar-nightclub area where couples strike up conversations and decide whether to move on to other areas where they can take their clothes off; these clubs have showers, lockers, etc.
In most establishments, only couples or single women are allowed entry. Men who come alone are in a separate area and can only enter at the request of a couple. That’s where the “glory hole” comes into play—it’s a hole where men can insert their penis so that couples can play with it and decide whether to invite them in.
Various Areas:
Each club has its own areas and rules. Usually, the manager will explain the procedures to newcomers. Typically, if the club is large, there are different rooms: in some you can be clothed, in others naked, and others are set up for bisexual couples…
There’s also usually a shower or massage area, and in the more “luxurious” clubs, swimming pools and terraces. It’s important to know what’s allowed in each of these
spaces. Some places have “dark rooms” where you can experience pleasure without seeing other people.
Voyeurism and Exhibitionism:
Some couples don’t come here to hook up with others. The thrill of watching and being watched is another of the pleasures to be enjoyed in these places. These aren’t the most common scenarios, but there’s no problem with engaging in this kind of play in a place like this.
The codes:
In group sex, bodies become one. But that doesn’t mean the people involved have to accept just any kind of relationship. Not everything goes. There’s a subtle gesture used to discreetly “reject” someone.
When a person doesn’t want a certain kind of relationship, they make a hand signal (open palm, facing the floor) in an elegant way (no need to look like a traffic cop), and the other person should get the message.
Theme Nights:
It’s a good idea to check the schedule of the venue you plan to visit. You can find events such as: threesome nights, gang bangs, evenings for high-heel fetishists, or BDSM.
It’s important to note that the swinger scene has nothing to do with fetishism or BDSM (that is, sadomasochism). However, there are venues that also feature dungeons and other spaces set up for these practices, and specific parties are organized to give free rein to these kinds of fantasies.