Learn about sex and enjoy it… by practicing

The latest Durex report, “What Turns Spaniards On,” reveals that nighttime is the time of day chosen by 44% of respondents, followed far behind by the afternoon. Similarly, the bed ranks as the favorite place for sex, though with some nuances: women are more likely to choose the bed (47%), while men split their preferences more evenly between the bed (34%) and the couch (30%).

As for colors associated with pleasure, the study reveals that Spaniards believe red is the most sensual color.

Setting aside general studies and statistics, sexual relationships are very personal, and what turned you on three years ago isn’t the same as what excites you now; tastes evolve as we get to know ourselves better, just as we get to know our partner better, if we have one.

What we can’t do is treat sex like taking a pill for a headache—which has nothing to do with how little time we have to do it—and let it turn from courtship into a guerrilla-style assault. Or to the apathy generated by routine acts, which, in the case of sex, leads to impotence in men, or to an invasive experience for women that is expected to be short-lived.

Foreplay:

To begin with, it’s important to consider foreplay—something that’s often overlooked—which is actually the foundation for successful, mutually satisfying sexual relations. This phase is essential for achieving a full erection, which is why foreplay and oral sex are crucial. In addition, these initial activities will help the woman achieve excellent vaginal lubrication, which will benefit both partners during penetration.

The report “What Turns Spaniards On” notes in this regard that, while men mostly prefer oral sex (49%), women mostly opt for erotic massages. Thus, foreplay and massages are key to enjoying a more fulfilling sex life, in which innovating, surprising each other, and trying new experiences are essential for revitalizing the relationship and reinventing yourselves.

Penetration with gentle, short strokes:

This option is perfect for delaying ejaculation. The ideal position would be with the woman on the bottom and her legs stretched out (a variation of the well-known missionary position) to help the man control his ejaculation, or the famous “spooning” position, with her lying on her back against him (whether lying down or sitting), combined with “manual” stimulation of the woman’s clitoris.

Deep penetration:

For deep penetration, the ideal position would be for the woman to lie face down with her legs wrapped around him, in order to squeeze the penis and achieve deeper, more pleasurable penetration for both partners, helping the man maintain a firm erection. Another option would be the position colloquially known as “doggy style” in its various variations.

Tips for Speeding Up a Woman’s Orgasm:

Experiencing an orgasm—whether you call it a climax, convulsion, spasm, arousal, or culmination—requires a certain technique. It’s true that factors such as stress, self-esteem, fatigue, and psychological state can influence your ability to reach orgasm; however, there are various strategies that can help.

-Practice on your own: “First of all, explore your own body, explore your genitals, learn how to touch yourself, and learn how to reach orgasm on your own. It’s an important step toward reaching climax more easily with a partner. You’ll learn how to delay and prolong the moment of orgasm if you practice it on your own first.”

-change positions: You can try out different positions until you find the one you enjoy the most. Try straddling him so that, as penetration occurs, your clitoris is in contact with his pubic bone, allowing you to experience both types of stimulation. Vary the speed and pressure you apply. Among the different movements, find the one that gives you the most pleasure.

-Fantasea: Imagine that you’ve just met. Imagine that someone is watching you, or that you’re somewhere else. Anything that might turn you on or help you reach orgasm faster. There’s nothing wrong with fantasizing; just because you imagine it doesn’t mean it’s something you’d actually want to do.

-Ask for what you need: It’s a fabulous tool—ask your sexual partner for everything you like and want. You can ask him to whisper in your ear, tell him how you like him to touch or kiss you, and how you like to kiss him… Anything that comes to mind. This helps him and helps you, too.

-Sex is all in the mind: Enjoy the moment; focus on what you’re feeling right now, without worrying about what he’s thinking or looking at. Be selfish—no one can give you what you can’t give yourself. The more you enjoy yourself, the more he’ll enjoy himself.

Techniques for prolonging male orgasm:

-“Look but don’t touch”: They get very aroused by what they see, so it’s a good idea to awaken their eroticism with a suggestive gesture that isn’t too direct or obvious. “Your first move will start to arouse him and build anticipation for what might come next.” To do this, you’ll find it helpful to use body language. A striptease will be the spark that ignites the sexual center in his brain; remember the importance of starting slowly and gradually increasing the intensity.”

-Touch two erogenous zones at the same time: While you’re manually stimulating his penis, for example, you can kiss his lips, ears, nipples…

Change your position or try a different erotic move:

Variety in movements and caresses increases activity in the areas of the brain associated with sexual arousal. Stimulating your partner and doing something different just as they’re about to reach the peak of pleasure will make them increasingly aroused, both physically and mentally. You can slow down penetration and help him take a little longer to reach orgasm. You’ll find it helpful to play with timing and rhythm; if you contract your vaginal muscles and use them to press against the tip of his penis, he’ll feel a kind of massage in that area that will arouse him even more.

-No to immediate orgasm:

When you feel his breathing and heart rate quicken and his pelvic muscles contract, place your thumb on the glans and the rest of your hand at the base of his penis. Gently squeeze for a couple of seconds, release, and then, ten seconds later, repeat the action on his penis.

This is very exciting for them, because when a man is about to reach climax, blood rushes to his pelvic area—especially to his penis—and the sexual tension in his body reaches its peak. So a small stimulus like this manages to hold back the blood flow for a moment, thereby delaying the orgasm and keeping the tension in the area building up.

–Discover the male P-spot (or G-spot):

The idea is to caress other erogenous zones on a man’s body besides the penis. The male G-spot is located inside the rectum, about five centimeters from the anus, on the wall facing forward toward the bladder. The prostate can be accessed through the anus by inserting a finger or sex toys.

With gentle movements and using lubricant, you pass through the anal sphincter to reach the rectum. About four or five centimeters deep, on its anterior wall (the one facing the penis), you’ll find a bulge about one centimeter thick (the prostate)—his G-spot.

It is also possible to stimulate the male G-spot externally by pressing or massaging the area that extends from the anus to the testicles. This is a sensitive, erogenous zone that contains many nerve endings.

You have to massage this gland directly to trigger explosive orgasms. Some men like to have their prostate stimulated once they have a full erection, while others find that prostate stimulation enhances their erection and leads to an intense orgasm.

-Enhance the effects: Oral sex while you caress her G-spot P, either externally or internally, gently and slowly massaging him until you bring him to orgasm, which will be much more intense than a normal one. Touch his testicles, caress them, and very gently cup them and give them a slight tug downward.

Another option is to use sex toys, such as rings that are placed at the base of an erect penis and help maintain the erection for longer.

You can also enhance your sensations with a lubricant. Some offer a “warming” or “cooling” effect that lets you delay or intensify pleasure. You can also experiment with different oils, scents, flavors, temperatures, and textures.