Jealousy… a spice of life or a real downer?

Jealousy is a complex and unsettling emotional response that arises when we sense that we might lose something we feel is ours and essential… it doesn’t just arise toward a partner… it’s enough to feel that we no longer have the exclusivity we deserve… or simply the fear of losing our position as the sole focus of attention and compliments… but what is feared even more is losing sexual exclusivity.

For many people, it’s inevitable to feel them when they’re in love, since the anxiety they produce is just another way of fueling desire. The problem arises when these feelings become repetitive and tormenting, because what was once a spice of passion inevitably turns into anxiety when everything is constantly called into question, thereby putting an end to all the magic of desire.

Jealousy is a mix of feelings—anger, sadness, and anxiety—that we’ve all experienced at one time or another.

Jealousy in a relationship can become a serious problem that causes suffering for both the person experiencing it and the person they believe is causing it; at times, it can develop into a psychological disorder when verbal or physical aggression becomes a recurring pattern.

The Disguise of Jealousy

Jealousy is a clear sign of insecurity and low self-esteem. The more insecure you feel, the more fears arise. The best way to avoid this is undoubtedly to start trusting yourself.

In practice, a jealous person fears that their partner will meet other people because they feel that most of them are better than he or she is, and they are afraid that someone else will find out. This fear is based on the idea that they don’t deserve the person by their side and the suspicion that, sooner or later, their partner will leave them because they’ll get tired of them.

Another common behavior of a jealous person is to seek out someone who will tell them they are right, disparaging their partner to pressure them into telling the truth about what is happening, thereby starting a vicious cycle of punishment and self-punishment.

When jealousy is a pathological disorder…jealousy…

So-called pathological jealousy, or “jealousy disorder,” is a serious disorder rooted in compulsive jealousy that can lead to psychotic symptoms, such as delusions (an idea without logical basis that the individual believes to be true) or hallucinations (perceptions that are experienced as real but do not correspond to any actual event).

The life of a jealous person revolves around jealousy; not only do they think about it constantly, but they also base their behavior on it. Typically, a person with this condition is constantly looking for evidence that their partner is cheating on them, dwelling on what they interpret as clear-cut evidence of such behavior, and speculating about the various ways their partner might be unfaithful.

They have intense delusions that their partner is being unfaithful, but they cannot prove it. Treating “jealousy” is very complex. The vast majority do not accept that they have a problem. It is difficult to convince someone that what they have experienced as something real has only happened in their mind.

Although they do not manifest themselves intensely at first, they are progressive. What is striking about this case is that the jealous person does not usually break up with their partner, despite being convinced that the partner is being unfaithful or intends to be. Their obsession is to uncover the deception and prevent it from happening, so they focus their thoughts and actions on this.

In severe cases, this can lead to verbal and even physical abuse directed at the alleged lovers and even at the partner themselves. Let’s not forget that jealousy is a trigger for many episodes of abuse.

The suffering they cause is immense. There is the suffering of the jealous partner, who is convinced that the person they love is cheating on them, and the suffering of their partner, who lives under constant suspicion, is controlled and questioned, feels powerless in the face of the other’s behavior, and is, of course, unhappy. Most couples end up breaking up, since these relationships become unbearable.

Is there a cure for jealousy?

In most cases, “jealousy“It is considered a chronic disorder. With the right treatment, symptoms improve, but we must continue to work on it and monitor it for the rest of our lives if we want to prevent relapses.”

In therapy, the patient cooperates and combines psychotherapy with medication—usually antipsychotics—to try to eliminate suspicion, delusions, and hallucinations.

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“jealousy”“And when it comes to ordinary jealousy—or those little bouts of fear that you might be cheated on—there’s a sharp divide between what’s more or less normal and what’s pathological. What they always show, though, is that these are just different ways of masking our insecurities.” . In moderation… they’re not the end of the world; they can even help you remember how much the other person means to you. Although ideally, you should replace the selfish and anxious “I love you” with the genuine and peaceful “I love you.”