Attraction to cross-dressers and transgender people

We grew up with a stereotypical view of the family: father (man), mother (woman), and children.

Forming a family under natural conditions and with two genders: male and female. However, there are no absolute truths regarding sex, just as there are none regarding other aspects of human beings and nature—or at least science has not yet managed to fully unravel them.

In the most outdated understanding of biology, the purpose of sex is the process of combining and mixing genetic traits, resulting in the differentiation of organisms into female and male varieties. However, new studies on the hormonal processes in women during pregnancy reveal a much broader range of sexual profiles than the traditional categories of male and female, or the more modern ones of male, female, homosexual, or bisexual.

New studies suggest that even though there are two physically distinct genders, the sense of belonging to one gender or the other is not determined solely by the sex organ with which one is born, but rather by the greater or lesser proportion of hormones the fetus receives during gestation, which opens up a very broad range of profiles beyond sexual orientation, with very distinct extremes.

Woman – – – – – – – – – – man

Man – – – – – – – – – woman

For example, in the classic heterosexual pairing—a very feminine woman and a very masculine man—there are women with very masculine traits who do not, however, identify as men, and men with very feminine traits who do not, however, identify as women.

At one extreme would be homosexuals—men with a male biological sex and female sexual orientation—and, conversely, women with a female biological sex and male sexual orientation.

In addition to all of this, there are bisexual people who are sexually attracted to both women and men, regardless of the sex they were assigned at birth.

The range of emotional, behavioral, and practical phenomena associated with the pursuit of sexual pleasure has a decisive impact on human beings at every stage of their lives. It therefore seems quite logical that, in the pursuit of personal pleasure, each person chooses what they want and what they do—whether regarding their sexuality or with whom they engage in it.

The old concerns of religion and morality—which seek to organize human feelings into “you can” or “you can’t” as yet another means of controlling group behavior—seem increasingly ridiculous and obvious to us, condemning the vast majority of people to a failure to understand or accept their own nature as something natural.

This lack of respect for those who are different from the majority causes suffering and, in many cases, condemns their feelings to the margins of society.

Fortunately, society is moving toward a greater understanding of realities such as those faced by transvestites and the diversity of ways in which sexuality is expressed.

The reality that “there are genders and many sexualities” is becoming increasingly clear through genetic studies, which show that we are all a complex amalgam of unknowns; and despite our plans to colonize Mars, human beings remain strangers to themselves and, for centuries, have been their own worst enemies.

Trans women and transvestites

Instincts remain the driving force behind human sexual behavior; although their form and expression depend on culture and personal choices, this gives rise to a wide variety of sexual behaviors. So, is a man who chooses a transgender woman or a transvestite developing a new way of experiencing sexuality? Why can’t this be just another option?

The dilemma for cross-dressers and transsexuals with regard to homosexuals is that they do not feel like men who dress as women, but rather as women who, in the case of cross-dressers, accept their bodies and do not feel self-conscious about them, or, in the case of transsexuals, need surgery to realign their physical bodies with their subjective experience or their sense of being a woman.

Attraction to cross-dressers and transgender people

Some people think that behind a man who is involved with a trans woman lies a repressed gay man, but this isn’t necessarily the case. These heterosexual men are attracted to the female body; they are fascinated by its curves, its sensuality, and even the freedom it offers for erotic play.

In recent years, there has also been a growing interest in meeting transvestites, especially among people who want to express their sexuality freely and without prejudice.

Some women reject any masculine gesture that slips in or a slightly deep tone of voice. It may seem like a paradox, but on the one hand they reject signs of masculinity in physique and behavior, yet they are attracted to the presence of male genitalia; in many of these relationships, the man takes on a passive role, or there is versatility, with the partners switching roles.

Others prefer trans women who have undergone surgery; the attraction is largely psychological, as it stems from the intensity of their emotions and, logically, their sexuality.

Issues

A heterosexual man who is attracted to a transgender woman finds himself trapped by social norms, facing an existential dilemma as he grapples with the immense challenge of making the relationship seem acceptable—a challenge that can lead to misunderstanding, ridicule, or rejection, and that limits his ability to authentically express his feelings.

He has to comply with the rules imposed on a biological man, but even though he identifies as a man psychologically, he is just as attracted to—or even more attracted to—a transgender woman than to a woman who is both biologically and psychologically female.

On the other hand, a man who is attracted to a trans woman, and is in a relationship, finds himself in a distressing dilemma—much more so than if the other option were a biological woman—because he feels his attraction is shameful and prefers to hide it, even though sexual or romantic relationships between a heterosexual man and a trans woman are often viewed in a straightforward manner.

We consistently use masculine pronouns to clarify terms, but the same situation applies to trans women and cross-dressing women.